Have you ever come close to dying?  

What amazes me is that she can still remember that moment quite vividly.  Drowning wasn't as frightening as she had thought it would be.  To hear her tell, it was actually quite peaceful - bringing with it a sense of serenity and calm.  The water was a brilliant, pale blue and the sunlight cast dancing prisms of light on the bottom of the pool.  She sank slowly, not as much like a stone as perhaps like a flower, dancing its way into oblivion.  She felt weightless and entranced by the water.  This robbed her of the need to panic, which perhaps may be one of the very reasons she survived.  Everything was soundless and dream-like as she neared the bottom.  

She can recall looking up and hearing muffled sounds of laughter from the two twin boys above her.  Their laughter was innocent, for they thought her to be playing some sort of joke. Their faces were distorted, much like looking at one's reflection in a house of mirrors, and the yellow of their shorts seemed to dance along the top of the water.  The laughter slowly faded, and looks of concern were evident, even through the distortion.  The water broke, sending swirls of dancing bubbles, and she felt herself being lifted to the surface.  Breaking through the top of the water was almost a shock to her system - so harsh was the reality that she almost longed for the solitude of the pool bottom. Gasping for each breath, and becoming aware of what had almost happened she began to cry, hiccuping sobs wracking her body.  She looked into the whitened faces of those twin boys and realized they were nearly as terrified as she.  They repeatedly asked her if she was okay, often talking over the top of one another, their nervousness apparent.  Even at four, she realized the magnitude of what they had done.  They had saved her life.  She could have died, only knowing four years of an existence on earth.  Leaving behind her parents and everyone else she loved.  This realization made her cry harder.  Over and over between sobs she blurted "thank you".  The boys just kept nodding, staring at her with their wide brown eyes.  Once they had calmed down, they began to gather their things.  They told her that she should find her parents, and tell them what had happened.  They all left the pool area at the same time, the two boys walking in a shocked silence, occasionally casting a glance over their shoulder to make sure that she was away from the pool and in no further danger of drowning.  

She still remembers running into the resort that her grandparents' managed.  She met her mom in the entryway, her little bare feet making slapping sounds on the tile floors as she ran to her.  In the only way she knew how to sum up what had happened to her, she blurted "Mommy, I drownded!"

I've thought of this story in my life many times.  How differently things could have turned out.  I've thought of those twin boys often, and wonder if more could have been done to thank them.  We may never know where they ended up, or where their lives have taken them.  And they may never realize that one day they saved the life of an impulsive little four year old girl, who thought that she could swim in the deep end.

An impulsive little girl who grew up to be me.